Hotel California A oneshot collection
by Ralinde
Summary: Various characters, various situations. Based on the song Hotel California by the Eagles. Chapter 5 is up: Filch at the Yule Ball.
1. Chapter 1 James and Sirius

**_A/N: I've had the idea for these one-shots when 'Hotel California' by The Eagles was playing on my radio and somewhere an image of Filch just got stuck in my mind (that'll be up later). I figured there were more lines in the lyrics that could serve as a setting for a story about one or more of the Harry Potter characters, so I just started writing. More will be up. Please tell me what you expect and/or would like to see in coming chapters!_**

**Disclaimer: Alas, my name is not JK Rowling. And I also have no rights over the song. **

James and Sirius

o0o

_On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair_

_Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air_

_Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light_

_My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim_

_I had to stop for the night_

o0o

"Man, I love this," James Potter exclaimed as he looked around. The landscape around him was barren but he didn't seem to mind.

"Get on, Prongs," the voice of his best friend Sirius Black said. "Unless you want to spend the night alongside the road, prey to thieves and killers?"

"Ha, I'd like to see them try," James laughed but he got back on the motorbike nonetheless.

The two best friends were on a road trip through America. They had stopped momentarily because James wanted to take in the view. They were in their final year of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they had two weeks of before their N.E.W.T. examinations would start. James' parents had reluctantly agreed with their plans so now they were travelling 'free at last' as James put it.

They had hired motorbikes and James just loved the feeling of the wind rushing past his face. He and Sirius raced each other along the highways, zigzagging between Muggle vehicles whose drivers never noticed.

"You know, I still think it's a shame Remus and Peter are not here," Sirius said when they found a shabby motel to stay at.

"Yeah I agree."

Their other two friends, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were still in England. Peter because his parents wouldn't allow him to go seeing as he was not of age yet, Remus because of his condition. As a child, Remus had been bitten by a werewolf and there would be a full moon during the break so he didn't want to risk hurting his friends.

"Well, to friends!" James said. He raised his Butterbeer and clunked with Sirius as he did the same. It wasn't their first Butterbeer and it certainly would not be their last that evening.

"I wonder what old Snivellus is doing during the break," James grimaced.

"Probably got his _nose_ stuck in a book," Sirius sniggered.

They both laughed. Snivellus was their nickname for a boy called Severus Snape, who was in their year but in Slytherin. They weren't friends and they took every opportunity to show him that.

At one point, as the evening went on and they drank more Butterbeers, the conversation turned to the topic of relationships. James had set his heart on Lily Evans for years but she ignored him most of the time, stating that he was a 'show-off'. He hadn't heard Sirius talk about any girls, so he questioned him about this. "So, is there anyone in our year you find attractive?"

Sirius turned scarlet and mumbled something that sounded like "Nonfyorbizniz".

"Now, what's that you're saying? I'm sorry Padfoot, I did not quite get that." James grinned, teasing his friend. "Who's the lucky one?"

Sirius didn't reply.

"Say, you're not batting for the other team, right?" James enquired and laughed at his own joke. Sirius had turned a deeper shade of purple. James stopped laughing and looked at his friend.

"Okay, this is a little awkward…" he mumbled embarrassed.

**_A/N: So, what do you think?_**


	2. Chapter 2 Minerva and Elphinstone

_A/N: I think it's so sweet how he kept waiting for her all those years, that I just had to write his 'final' proposol. Enjoy!_

Minerva & Elphinstone

o0o

_There she stood in the doorway;_

_I heard the mission bell_

_And I was thinking to myself,_

_"This could be Heaven or this could be Hell"_

o0o

Elphinstone Urquard cleared his throat nervously. He was about to meet with his longtime friend, Minerva McGonagall, who was now a teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. They had known each other for more than 30 years now, ever since Minerva had started as an apprentice at the Ministry. Elphinstone had fallen in love with her almost immediately. He knew it was a cliché, the middle aged boss falling for the nineteen year old assistant, but he couldn't help himself. At some point, he had asked her to marry him but she had kindly refused. She liked him as a friend, she had said, but that was it. He had never stopped loving her, though. Even now, thirty years later, he could still feel his knees tremble and his heart flutter whenever he saw her. He had proposed many times during those years, but always her response had been the same. He sighed. He had recently retired and he had decided that today, he would ask her one last time. If she still refused him, he would finally accept his loss and never talk about it again.

When he knocked on the door of the castle, Minerva herself answered.

"Elphinstone! How wonderful to see you! How are you doing?" They greeted each other warmly and Elphinstone suggested they take a walk around the lake.

They talked mostly small talk, about her job and his retirement, about earlier times when they had worked together, about the dark times they were in with Lord Voldemort rapidly rising to power and the waging war.

When they eventually sat down at one of the benches overlooking the lake, Elphinstone fidgeted with his hat.

"You know Nerva, I've been thinking," he said. Nerva was his nickname for her, though he made sure never to use in the presence of others, for she wasn't particularly fond of it.

"Yes?" she turned her head towards him.

"You know I'm retired now and that I bought a little cottage in Hogsmeade," he said. She nodded, sensing where this was going, but politely pretending not to. As he continued his story, she thought to herself: _Poor Elphinstone. He has asked so many times already but he keeps having hope_.

She'd had her reasons to refuse of course, the most eminent one being the memory of Dougal McGregor, the boyfriend she'd had when she was eighteen and with she had broken off her engagement. She loved Elphinstone too in a way, but she had never stopped loving Dougal, even though he had gotten married to someone else a couple of years later, and she had always felt it wouldn't be fair to Elphinstone to have that memory overshadow them. But now Dougal had died, and she couldn't think of another reason why she should refuse if Elphinstone were to ask her again. She couldn't keep mourning a teenage heartbreak forever now could she?

"So, you're probably fed up with me asking this," Elphinstone pulled her out of her reminiscences and laughed nervously, "but Nerva, would you be my wife?"

She smiled at him and took his hands, having made her decision. "You know what, Elphinstone? That would be wonderful."

_I really enjoyed writing this piece, I hope you enjoyed reading it. Let me know! More is coming up!_


	3. Chapter 3 Ted and Andromeda

_**A/N: Read on as Andy and Ted embark on their honeymoon!**_

Chapter 3. Ted and Andromeda

o0o

_Welcome to the Hotel California_

_Such a lovely place_

_Such a lovely face_

_Plenty of room at the Hotel California_

_Any time of year_

_You can find it here_

o0o

Andromeda Tonks, née Black, smiled at her spouse. Their wedding hadn't been that elaborated and exclusive as that of her sister had been two years prior, but at least she and Ted had married out of love and free will, instead of out of duty. Her parents hadn't attended the wedding, of course, and neither had her sisters. They had banned her from the family the moment she decided to run off with a Muggleborn.

She had been sad at first, but it wasn't as if she hadn't predicted this would happen. So eventually she had accepted. And now, she was no longer Andromeda Black, she was now Andromeda Tonks.

Ted had arranged their honeymoon and as they got in the car she questioned him about where they were going.

"You'll see," he replied and kissed her on her forehead. She smiled. She usually hated surprises but she was sure Ted would have arranged something wonderful. They drove on for a couple of hours and then Ted stopped the car by a cozy little hotel, surrounded by rosebush.

"I know it isn't what you're used to, but…" he said apologetically. Andy's family was one of the wealthiest in the wizarding community and when she had been on holiday with them, they usually stayed in large, luxurious resorts.

She turned to him. "Are you kidding? It's perfect, I love it!"

They got out of the car and when they neared the hotel, Andy noticed that the landscape was beautiful and that it even had a little garden.

"Oh Ted, look how beautiful it is!" she exclaimed and pointed at the various flowers in the garden, her face a beacon of happiness.

Ted put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. He had never been happier.

_**A/N: This was a rather short one, I'm sorry. The next chapter will be a bit longer!**_


	4. Chapter 4 Narcissa

_A/N: From one sister to another: here's Narcissa!_

Chapter 4. Narcissa

o0o

_Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she's got the Mercedes Benz._

o0o

Shallow, they called her. A spoiled puppet. The Ice Queen. La Princessa. To some extend, all of it applied to her. But there was more to Narcissa Malfoy than met the eye. She wasn't without feelings: she actually loved her husband. She knew a lot of people thought differently. She had heard their gossip; that she only cared for possessions; that despite Lucius' efforts with jewelry and the like she still refused him in her wedding bed… It was so far from the truth that they almost laughed about it, had it not been for the tragedy that plagued them. She put on a mask in company, afraid that her tears would be taken for weakness, and weakness, she had learnt from an early age, was something to be avoided at any cost. Blacks didn't show emotion in public, and neither did Malfoys.

Narcissa was currently on her way to St Mungo's for a check-up. She had known for a couple of weeks already, but she hadn't told Lucius yet, afraid that just like the other times, something would be wrong. She dreaded the visit and she had prepared herself for the worst, but nonetheless she went in with her head held high.

The check-up wasn't any different from the others she'd had. She awaited the outcome with anxiety, already building up her mental walls to prevent herself from crumbling down. But the medi-witch came back with a smile on her face.

"I think I have very good new for you, Mrs. Malfoy."

"Really?" She didn't dare believe it was true.

"Yes, your baby boy is perfectly healthy. In fact, you're even further along than you mentioned. You're about fourteen weeks now, so that means you passed the critical line."

Blacks didn't show emotion in public and neither did Malfoys, but this time, Narcissa didn't care. She let her tears stream freely and hugged the medi-witch. "You've no idea how happy I am," she laughed through her tears. _A baby! A perfectly healthy baby boy!_ She still couldn't believe that after three miscarriages, she and Lucius would finally have the child they longed for since their marriage.

Blacks didn't show emotion in public and neither did Malfoys, but that day the Malfoy ice queen was spotted with a big smile on her face that wouldn't waver. Lucius' birthday was in two days. This year, she would have the perfect present for him.

_A/N: As promised, this one is a bit longer. I do hope some reviews will come along though…_


	5. Chapter 5 Filch

_A/N: At last, the one that started it all! Do you remember when in the movie of GoF Filch is dancing at the Yule Ball, holding Mrs Norris? He had that happy look upon his face. Ever wondered what he was thinking about? Read and find out!_

Chapter 5. Filch 

o0o

_Some dance to remember, some dance to forget._

o0o

Argus Filch let his eyes scan the crowd of partying teenagers. _Petty little wizards and witches_, he said to himself. _All think they're better than me_. He was a squib, a non-magical being from a wizarding family and he was often reminded by that fact. He caressed his pet, Mrs. Norris, a little to harshly and she mewed complainingly in reaction.

"I'm sorry, dear, it's not your fault," he told the cat.

The band started playing a song he remembered from his youth. There were happy memories attached to the song, something of which he had very few. His parents, being the very demanding wizards that they were, had stopped caring for him the moment they found out he was a squib. He had written Dumbledore numerous letters, pleading to be accepted into Hogwarts so that perhaps his magic could develop, but he ended up at a normal high school, much to the disgrace of his parents, a thing they often reminded him of.

But then there was Angela. Sweet Angela with her brown hair and her enthusiasm, taking him along at their prom. Him, the mousey wallflower, the one without any real friends, the odd one out. But Angela had not cared. No, Angela had pulled him onto the dance floor and slowly, reluctantly, he gave in to the dance. Her enthusiasm worked like a charm and he even managed a smile.

As he reminisced about that other ball, he slowly moved around, holding Mrs. Norris as if he was holding Angela again.

When the music stopped, the moment was gone, as were the happy memories. They had been on a few dates together, but Angela had been totally freaked out by his parents performing magic. Even though he had tried to assure her he wasn't like that, she ran away, leaving him alone.

After that, he got a huge disliking to wizards. He only took the job at Hogwarts because he had needed the money and because the prospect of being able to punish all them petty little magical kids meant he could in some way found revenge for how his parents had treated him.

_A/N This was a rather sad one, I'm sorry. _


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